Anonymous asked: What does your poop smell like?
I’m more curious why you’d actually want to know something like that. Are you some kind of connoisseur? Is there an actual market for that? Because if there is…
Yeah on second thought, I’m not touching that one. Weirdo.
snapubakuru asked: Strong Bad, how does getting to The Inventory work? I'd imagine there is some transdimensional door...or someone just give you a ride their.
I gotta be honest, Cuppin’ Cakes, I’m not entirely sure how it works myself. The first time I ever went their some guys from Telltale showed up at my house and just sort of threw a bag over my head and dragged me out to their car saying something about fine print in a contract.
Then they left me in this creepdark alleyway with nothing but a gold elevator and a rusty ladder for company. The elevator seemed like a safer bet for escape than the ladder but I might’ve reconsidered if I knew dorkahedron was going to be there.
Anonymous asked: Is your girlfriend ever going to come back from mars?
The last I heard she was still stuck in the sand with the robot. I didn’t think it was worth waiting around for her to get out so we broke up right after prom.
Not everyone wants to tug it to albino amputees.
Sorry what was that? I don’t speak stupidese.
Anonymous asked: Have you considered ever becoming a *god*?
I used to think positions of ultimate power were great, but then I got tricked into being a king for a few hours and that was the opposite of fun. I like working against authority more than being an authority figure. Or even sort of… diagonal to authority. Like how a certain duo of independent investigators toe the line but take justice into their own nunchuk gun toting, explosion making hands (or gloves).
But I digress. Yeah I considered it for maybe five minutes, then decided I’d rather go string up the resident waste of fat space by his under-drawers in his room again instead. Because that’s instant gratification.
Anonymous asked: Do you have any hobbies that you're ashamed of? You don't have to tell what they are, just whether or not you do.
All of my hobbies are the cutting edge of cool because they’re mine. That’s kind of a no-brainer, man.
But you know what hobby people should be ashamed of? Macking old issues of Zoobooks. I’m looking at you, Tai chi.
Anonymous asked: Sup, idiot.
Clearly you got lost on the way to Homestar’s ask blog.
Anonymous asked: What types of girls do you date, honey?
I don’t date girls. I date ladies.
But while we’re on that subject I prefer the ones without weird names like… Brian.
What- I don’t even-
Where are people are getting this stuff from? Is saying I hate a person not enough anymore? Is there some secret code I’m missing out on that translates public declarations of disgust into expressed attraction? If so I’d like to clear this horrifying, jibblie-inducing misunderstanding up right now:
I have not and will not get within ten feet of that creeper. Have you even heard the way he talks about giraffes?
And the pants thing never happened.
Relaxth. I wath mothtly being thardonic. But for the record… well. Ith not exthactly the hate thing it’th jutht… you can only thpend tho much time, like, obthething on thomeone before it thtartth to look kinda funny, ith all.
Ath for the retht… whatever you thay, ‘heart’th boxtherth’.
I hate everything about this.
Can you both just shut up I seriously threw up in my mouth a little.
Look, Chuckie, knowing what my favorite pair of boxers look like doesn’t prove anything.
This is the only time I’m going to say I agree with Tycho. Especially on the ‘throwing up in my mouth a little’ part. Conversation officially over.
friendlytroll asked: Describe to us the *finest* of *sandwiches*.
I made a huge sandwich once while Strong Sad was hosting one of his nerd gatherings and that thing had everything on it. I mean everything. I even threw a little hummus on there in one section. It was probably the most awesome sandwich I’ve ever had, but it took hours to put together so I’m not going to be doing that again anytime soon unless I need another excuse to hide in the kitchen from Strong Sad’s weird ‘friends’.
As far as regular-kind sandwiches go it doesn’t get much better than two slightly moist chocolate cookie slabs surrounding a just-melty-enough layer of vanilla ice cream.